This Year Apple Will Be Releasing... Nothing. [Video]

Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:54am by iClarified | Please help us and submit a translation by clicking here | 24773 views

Take a look at this hilarious Apple keynote spoof by CollegeHumor that has Apple releasing something extraordinary this year... Nothing.

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"For over two decades, Apple has been synonymous with innovation. Our track record is unparalleled. The iMac, the iPod, the iPhone, the iPad. We revolutionized the music industry with the iTunes Store. We invented apps. We're the most profitable and successfully company in the world and that's why today, Apple is releasing something even more extraordinary - Nothing.

Just let that sink in for a moment. What could be more simple, more beautiful than nothing? Why should we introduce a new product when we are already selling millions of the old ones every day around the world? We deserve a break. That's why starting today, Apple is going to start coasting. That's right, from now on we're not going to bring you more of the new devices you've come to expect from Apple. No new iPhones, no new iPads. No other company on earth would dare do this except Apple.

Yep, I know what you're thinking. Aren't our investors going to abandon us. Hardly. After all we have 80 billion dollars in cash and we just got 500 journalists to show up to a press conference at which we announced nothing. I think it's pretty clear we're doing fine. Look our stock is going up a hundred points.

There are three things we love here at Apple: Sleep, family time, and golf. Sleep, family time, and golf. Sleep, family time, and golf. Are you getting it yet? These are the things we're going to be doing now. Even better we're shutting down our Chinese factories and our customers can ontinue to use their old Apple products without feeling like a loser.

The best part? All this innovation comes to you absolutely free. From all of us at Apple we say to you, we're good. We don't need anymore of your money right now. There you have it, this year Apple will be releasing - Nothing.

One more thing. We're buying Google."
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Watch the video below!


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suraj - May 24, 2013 at 12:49pm
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Billy Bob - September 13, 2012 at 9:34am
Fanboys will be queing round the block for this ... nothing haha suckers
stevieboy - September 13, 2012 at 8:09am
pisses me off when people go on and on and on about the friggin battery life. ALL smart phones are power sluts and I've had the lot, sammys, noks, motos and apples.no better or worse.actually the biggest drain is push services, i switch it off and in make a huge difference. and so what if ya have to give it a boost, get over it FFS.
lepaka - September 13, 2012 at 11:54am
thats what sucks me, classify a bad performance as a good one just because the others dont have better. so then where is the place for inovation ??? and for your suprise there is better, yes Apple as done it better, before iOS5 and with 3GS iPhone. my iPhone 3GS at iOS4 handled between 2 to 3 days without re-charging.
lepaka - September 13, 2012 at 7:13am
without seeing the video, i agree 100%, this zear Apple bring "nix" nothing at all. For the 1st time after Steve second comming, Apple goes behind the trend (bigger screen) and brings nothing new. I live in pain with my 4S, the Battery life sucks, i cannot play an interelly Golf match without charging it, i dont know if the alarm clock will ring and i will wake up, wherever i go i have to plan charge the Brick!!! this sucks:( what the new one will bring us ???? the same cheat!!!! 8 hours on 3G, in reallity is about 3 to 4 hours, all the Apps and processes are consuming and i can not pass one day without plug it in!!!!!!! what is new in this new one??? the screen size, new processor and new internet speed, for what??? for more battery resourses, i believe that this one will be really worst. please Steve come back, give some light to this Dummies
Me - September 13, 2012 at 2:33am
Blah blah.. Let's see what others can come up with..
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