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New Apple CEO Tim Cook: 'I'm Thinking Printers' [Onion]

New Apple CEO Tim Cook: 'I'm Thinking Printers' [Onion]

Posted August 25, 2011 at 6:59pm by iClarified · 22577 views
The Onion is reporting that Apple's new CEO Tim Cook is 'thinking printers' and will postpone the release of the iPhone 5 for at least four years.

Following the resignation of Apple founder Steve Jobs, incoming CEO Tim Cook called a meeting of shareholders and members of the press Thursday morning to announce that he envisioned printers as the company's future. "Laser, ink-jet, double-sided, color, black-and-white-the future of technology is in printers. I am absolutely convinced of that," Cook explained to a packed auditorium as a montage of printers and people using printers played on a screen behind him. "What is the one thing people will always need? It's obvious: printers. Printers with fax machines attached, printers that collate and staple, perhaps a printer that makes photocopies. Anything's possible. It's called innovation." Cook concluded his remarks by assuring investors the release of upcoming Apple products such as the iPhone 5 would be postponed for at least four years so the company could throw all its time and resources into the creation of high-quality printers for the home and office.

The Onion provides a humorous and satirical look at current news, in case you didn't know.

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New Apple CEO Tim Cook: 'I'm Thinking Printers' [Onion]
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siddharth - August 27, 2011 at 3:12am
no i deviceses R the best steve will miss u ...no one was like u will b like u
Samiam - August 26, 2011 at 7:55am
WoW ! Pure genius ! iPrint I can see it now. With high alloyed features less then a second to print a page and include retina display on every page XD
ron2k_1 - August 26, 2011 at 3:36pm
Yeah! They gonna use iInk and iPaper size iA4 and iLegal, and this is all for the iPrice of icant-fucking-believe-onion-had-the-nerve-to-say-this-was-a-freakin-press-release!!!! HP abandoned production of mobile devices, Apple wants printers, and tomorrow Google will announce that they gonna get into scanners because cellphones have not future at all [sarcasm alert]...
ben - August 26, 2011 at 4:18am
This post really had me for a second. but then all of a sudden I felt gullible.
Rob - August 25, 2011 at 11:37pm
hes gonna ruin apple with his printers other companies have a strong presence on the pritners market and apple doesnt need that just stick to what has made apple agreat company IPHONE AND MAC not printers
Pain Reaper
Pain Reaper - August 26, 2011 at 4:57am
Did you even read the last two lines..? You're the idiot here, not Cook.. -.-
Wankstawilb - August 25, 2011 at 11:25pm
I don't know which is funnier... The article or the idiots commenting
boywonda - August 26, 2011 at 1:58am
LMFAO!!!! I know right?! Toooooo funny
gabe - August 26, 2011 at 11:24am
the idiots commenting LOL - hehe love the Onion!
namedb - August 25, 2011 at 11:18pm
i feel like i am surrounded by morons.
krowe - August 25, 2011 at 10:54pm
this is retarded... why would someone post this article immediately following a letter written by Cook himself stating that "Nothing is going to change..." this is stupid! i give it a 0 out of 10 on the credibility scale.
Maded - August 25, 2011 at 10:42pm
Lol at anyone taking this even semi seriously!
Omg - August 25, 2011 at 10:41pm
Wtf for 4 years? What about postponing Cooks promotion. I have faith on steve he wont allow this BS.
Kim Lu
Kim Lu - August 25, 2011 at 10:25pm
Ohh nvm hahaha the onions just mocking apple saying it's the end of apple and it's innovation rofl
Kim Lu
Kim Lu - August 25, 2011 at 10:22pm
Are they serious?!,!, WTF I don't think anyone wants to buy "600" outdated apple printers this has to be a joke
Thick idiots
Thick idiots - August 25, 2011 at 9:55pm
I really pray the comments here are jokes. If not, yanks seriously have no grasp of the art of sarcasm! Jesus.........
Troy - August 25, 2011 at 9:15pm
wtf printers? who cares about stupid printers, we want the iphone 5. NOW.
notanig - August 25, 2011 at 8:56pm
lol at all the morons not getting the joke.
Ahmed El Zoughby
Ahmed El Zoughby - August 25, 2011 at 8:21pm
AS IF Steve will let this goes by! This rumor would be true if only Steve took back his resignation! A fool would do this step with Apple ... And Steve is not a playing to let this major company in the hands of a fool ... I have faith in Steve that it's going to be alright.
Really? - August 25, 2011 at 8:15pm
Sarcasm is hard to detect in typed word...but I get a genuine feeling that some of these comments believe this Onion story is actual NEWS and not satire. I really do hope I'm wrong, however...
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